Wednesday, May 16, 2012

...you keep it chill.

My music keeps me sane.

It seems like with all of my classes this track, I can barely keep up with assignments.  It's impossible to keep up with readings.  I wake up around 6:30 every morning to spend two hours studying before my first class.  From then on out, until 11:00 at night, I only spend a few hours of the day (if I'm lucky...or procrastinating) not in class or preparing for class.

I have found a very useful technique to keep from screaming right here in the middle of the library. (Ha, like blogging is going to help my stress level.)  I've made a playlist on my iTunes called "Relaxation."  92.6% (rough estimate...it may be wrong.  I'm an English, not a math, major.) of the songs are instrumental hymns.  It's amazing how much more I'm able to accomplish when I feel peaceful and relaxed.

The past month has given me a new respect to my parents.  For most of my childhood, they were in school, working, and dealing with their four crazy chitlins.  Now, I'm having a hard time being just a student with only myself to deal with.  How they were able to handle all of life and school is beyond me.

Friday, May 4, 2012

...you throw them back at life in frustration! And then type whatever comes to mind.

Life for the lucky is stunningly  clear.  Life for the rest of us suckers is stunningly ambiguous.

...but that's what makes it real.  In a way, it's how we can look at our surroundings and not have to pinch ourselves to know whether we're alive or not.

What exactly constitutes someone as being "alive"?  Medically speaking, anyone with a heartbeat is alive...but on a deeper level, is it just that?  Where exactly is that deeper level?

Want to know my thoughts?  Of course you do!

Being alive is being active.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said in "The American Scholar", "The one thing in the world, of value, is the active soul. This every man is entitled to; this every man contains within him..."

The active soul...the active mind...the active heart...

Exercising agency goes with not only things of the gospel but also learning and thinking.  It's a matter of acting versus being acted on.  Inspiration comes through action, though the creation of thought, and the active soul is constantly in tune for inspiration.

Inspiration isn't only for religious matters, so why do we only seek for the help of the Spirit in our sacred studies?  Hasn't God commanded us to gain knowledge in anything "lovely, virtuous, of good report, and praiseworth"?  I've started making it a habit to ask for inspiration and enlightenment in all of my studies, to ask for a desire to learn.  I'm amazed at how my views and my attitude towards learning has done a complete 180 turn.

I now keep a "thought journal."  I value it above my normal journal.  In it, I keep the only things I have private in this crazy world, my thoughts.  When I have a "noble impulse," as sweet Camilla Kimball described inspiration, I write it down.

My little band of followers (Hi, mom.), I will give you the opportunity and reading one such impulse.

4-25-12
During FDEnglish201:  As I see, recognize, and value the beauty around me--in words, in art, in nature--I see more beauty in myself.  


When I see God's creation, see what beauty He gave them, I am more able to look in the mirror and see what beauty He gave me.

I've matured...but I'm still immature.  I see that.  I see that I have no opinion in most clear-cut and uncertain things in life. Life is complicated.

...but that's what makes life beautiful.